Love Advice from my Host Dad

Fun fact: Today is “Dia dos Namorados” aka Valentine’s Day in Brazil. Brazilians celebrate the holiday on June 12 because it’s the eve of the death of Santo António, the matchmaking saint. With that in mind, here are some of the relationship tips my host dad has given me this semester:

-Stop dating guys with Anglo-Saxon names. What, you’re going to tell your parents you’re in love with a guy named Michael? You should date someone with a real Brazilian name like João.

-You need to make your hands prettier. Go to the salon and get a manicure.

-Stop meeting guys at clubs. They’re like hunting grounds. If you want an actual relationship, you need to spend more time looking for guys in bookstores.

-(upon hearing that I made a pie for my guy friend’s birthday). You should do something bigger. Like jump out of a cake.